Andy Cole: ‘I don’t know how I’ve done it. Some days are a total blur’ | Donald McRae

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Former Manchester United striker on living in lockdown, how lots of transplant patients ‘hate themselves’, and the value of support

Andy Cole gazes out of my laptop screen and, even in our strange virtual world, I can see clearly how his face creases with pain. His familiar voice resonates around the room as he explains how low he has felt these past weeks while in self-isolation and dealing with the continuing problems of a kidney transplant in 2017.

“There are many, many times when I want to give up, period, not just on life but give up on everything,” Cole says. “It becomes so difficult. I was struggling last Wednesday. It totally came out of the blue and I had to stay in bed. I conceded defeat and accepted that today’s not going to be my day. Previously, I would fight. But, ultimately, I know I can’t beat it.”

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